The life of Jesus

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The life of Jesus

Post  Brock M. Hay on Wed Feb 01, 2012 9:48 am

We all know who Jesus is I hope, he is the father of Christianity and thought as by many as the messahia. It all started when Mary, who is married yet for some reason is still a virgin, becomes pregnant with our fetus Jesus. She swore to Joseph that she was faithful to him (in what logic and reason did he use to believe her I don't know what, seriously the only way you get pregnent is through sexual reproduction seriously I don't know how Joseh was okay with god pregnating her, back to the story) and for some reason he believed her. Anyway one night when Mary and Joseph were going for a walk or whatever else people did around the year 0 Mary's water started to break. The mean guy at the inn wouldn't let them in so they decided it would be most lgical to make a Jesus baby in front of a bunch of probably terrified animals in a barn. I don't see how Mary still was a virgin because if giving birth did not break her hymen I don't know what possibly could have. Jesus spent his life working as a carpenter or something that a minimum wage person would (good choice of career you are the son of god you know you could have easily been a ruler or something). Anyway Jesus seemed more like a philosopher at first, he spread his teachings to his apostles about how you should love god, eachother, and your enemies, coming from a guy who got crucified (look who has team spirit)! Eventually Jesus made enemies, all these religous people make enemies or else thier stories wouldn't be bloody interesting at all (he is born, makes peace, lives forever, Christian world, yay.... scratch ) Some Jews claimed that he was corrupting the future generation and that he was in fact not the messaihai (the messaihai gets crucified and now we have peace yay.... wait what scratch how does that make sense at all, Chirstian logic). Also the Romans didn't like him because he was denying the authority of the emperor ( logical people thinking the things you can see are the things we can worship and have peace over with evidense, so why are they the bad guys...... oh yeah its religion nevermind). With the help of Jesus's betrayer one of his apostles they took him and crucified him. Believe it or not I went to Sunday school once (against my own will... but still) and I learned that Jesus forgave the trador (why yes of course the good guy in a religious story must be perfect and good at everything and nice and forgives everybody because hes a protagonist of a religous story) and that on the cross Jesus told the people watching him die to forgive everybody who betrays you (yes of course he did exactly that not exaggerated at all Neutral I wonder what it sounded like "Forgive those who betray you, in fact look how good I am right now, just make no notice the holes in my wrists and the fact that I am about to die") Three days after Jesus's death his tomb broke then he preached again for forty days or so then ascended to heaven. His followers sread his word and now we have Christian people today yay, the same people who will "forgive me" if there is anything offensive in this post.
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Brock M. Hay
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THE LIFE OF JESUS

Post  MariaelenaFarina on Fri Feb 03, 2012 7:37 pm

Hey Brock, you always seem to incorporate so much information into your blog topics. Great job on this one too, as per usual...! :p

These are some facts that i learned from you:
- Mary's water broke while her and Joseph were out on a walk
- Jesus was born in a barn with many animals watching the birth
- Jesus spent his life working as a carpenter, earning minimal wage

I loved the fact that you included some humor in the post... lol!

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Re: The life of Jesus

Post  Brock M. Hay on Sun Feb 05, 2012 7:08 pm


Sorry just to clear up, I don't know what Joseph and Mary were doing so far from home so that they wanted to go to an inn. I said they were going for a walk because that was the only explanation besides traveling with a baby in you that is about to come out, smart one guys, Wouldn't be surprised if they drank while she was pregnant too, hey they didn't know how that baby got thier, if it has super powers or stuff he can handle some hard liquor as a baby right. Any way I don't know if Jesus earned minimal wage as a carpentor, I just figured it because every other carpenter I know does too.
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JESUS CHRIST!, oh wait...

Post  Brandon H. on Sun Feb 05, 2012 9:00 pm

What I learned from that post was that Brocks going to hell. Nah just joking, now serious Brandon taking control... Ok, that was a very informatical post, I learned a lot that I probably wont remember in the future, DAMN IT stupid Brandon, we need to be professional... Ok, ya, I mean now i Know more about Jesus then I ever had, even going to sunday school twice, those two fatal- i mean faithful days. Brock you should be a priest! I learned that Jesus was a carpenter and he told people to forgive the ones who betrayed them, pretty valiant of a guy to say when he`s dying,...to bad reality hasn`t met with the bible.

thanks for something funny and smart to read Brock.
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